Too often when we fall in love...there are lots of promises. Lots of expectations...lots of happy memories and most importantly, a want for a Happy Ending. But is there such this as a happy ending? Nothing is really certain in this world except change. Changes...it happens everywhere. Especially in the very well-known word LOVE. When I am bored, I usually open you tube and browse for some music that will eventually make me feel at ease. As of this morning while browsing, I watched this video and had watched it until the end. This is entitled "I Didn't Mean to Make You Mine". 

The one who made this video probably lost the one she loves. A love she shared with her lover for a very short time but marks a never ending expectations of happy ending. A happy ending that ended up into a worst nightmare. Yeah! Sometimes, you really have to lost the things you love. Losing someone we love is the worst feeling we could ever feel. I know this feeling because I also once felt it. Losing them is the saddest part and missing them is the worst. You know the feeling of "you feel like you wanna scream out loud and call them", cried a lot of tears but no matter how you scream and how many tears you will be losing, you can't have them back?

When we started up to fall in love we always believe of a happy endings. That the love you feel for each other will never fade. And you really think you really found the right guy. Until one day...everything changes...people and feelings. It hurts when the person who change is the one who used to love you...the one who promised to love you forever. And hearing these words "I don't love you anymore" is the most painful part in falling love. Much more when he has to go and you are not ready to say goodbye and let go. But he has to go!

And what remains of you? Crying the whole night and waking up still remembering those face you used to see. The feelings he used to make you feel. You will have it feel a week, a month or sometimes forever. You remain All alone and lonely. What can you do is the only one who could stop you from hurting is the one who've caused it? And how could you start again if he means everything for you? That he is your world? How was he able to make you fall in love and never had the intention of catching you 'til the end? You wanna hate him...but how can you hate the one you love? What happen to the Happy Ending?

I was bored today and I stumbled upon a website containing sad stories. I stopped blogging in this site because  I really hate reading sad things anymore. I do not want that idea of feeling the pain and pity to the persons who are encountering sad moments. I have much of that, since I was a kid and I really don't like reading and hearing sad things anymore. For me, sad love stories are nonsense and could only make you cry. Yes, I hate seeing myself crying just because of a sad things I read. If possible I just want to read and hear stories with happy endings because I believe that Happy Ending does make a love story special. But when I read the title of the story that goes this way ... "Blossom Flower Yet Thorny", I was intrigued and started to read the story until i finished reading it all. And I realized I miss doing this thing. Sharing sad things about love. Here is the story I read...

It was just like the initial explosion of fireworks. Your eyes widen, your break gets caught, the colors take over your vision, and you take an inevitable step back. That's how it was when I met Sean. I don't know if it was those blue jeans, or his t-shirt. Well, maybe it was that smile, or those crystal blue eyes. He brought the sunshine to me even at midnight, with a smile that always reaches his eyes. I could tell you every detail, every dream, every hope, but that isn't what love is. Love is the feelings, oh those feelings. You could know every aspect about that person, but that isn't what love is. I mean, he does stand with his hands in his pockets, or with his ankles crossed slightly leaning back, He does sing to every song he hears, he did sing to me before. Hell, he played the piano, the guitar, he sang every song on his iPod until I fell asleep with the phone raddled to my chest, keeping any trace of his voice next to me. His dream was to be a sniper, his goal was to be the best man he could be and he always thinks he failed, but he never fails. He told me I was the stars to his universe, explained everything I didn't understand. He told me I was perfect. I was beautiful. I disagreed. Now when it came to his, he has perfection in any way possible. We had it all. I waited a year for him to finally notice me, and when he did, I had the firework effect. ..We had it all for three months. Three months in heaven? Three months.. those three months changed my life forever. It ended at the fair. You had to end it at the fair. Not even an hour after we had run up to each other and embraced under the lights, the stars, in front of every one there. You held onto me, you kissed the cut on my leg when I fell. You showed me the final feelings of true love, I gave you the bracelet that said, "I'm Yours". I remember my heart beating with raw emotion, when you looked me in the eyes and smiled sadly and told me something that tore me down forever; 'You are an amazing girl, but there are no fireworks.' Remember my firework theory? Yeah it exploded... in my face, it burned me, and broke my heart, literally. After that I was crushed, we continued to talk. You smiled, I didn't. I turned. I stepped away. I trusted you with every secret. I told you about the guy who touched me and wouldn't stop. You said you would never let that happen again. You promised to always be mine. My love for you was more than I could handle, because I told a step away, and stared at the moon, and then ran. I ran through the fair. I ran from the pain, which turned into me running right into it, as you came after me, just because you could, not because you wanted too. I then learned it was possible to cry till you fall asleep, only to awake crying. IT IS POSSIBLE. It's happened for the 5 months 2 weeks and 4 days after wards. The waking up, the going to sleep, only to never remember the days. It has been a year, four months, and 10 days since that night at the fair. June 18th. I'm better. I can smile now. I can laugh more. I walk with a bounce to my step. It's possible to be happy again, yes. But it's impossible to get rid of the pain, and literal scars I now have forever etched into me. How will I explain the scars on my ribs to my husband, or to my kids? I can't. Yet, even to this day I can never say anything bad about him. He still brings the sunshine to me even at midnight.

After reading the story, I can feel pain again. And the feeling is so different from those love stories with happy endings I've read. Yeah, it was true then, that Happy Endings Does Not Make a Love Story Special. It was the sad memories that left hidden in our heart forever. Yeah! This is what I've missed...sad thoughts about love! :)